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Niki Wurster Visit our Movie Scripts Page screenplay 451: http://www.geocities.com/~screenplay451/ Mao Guangqin 2 1 2000-01-15T02:45:00Z 2000-01-15T02:45:00Z 25 7650 43606 Pumpkin Software 363 87 53551 9.2504 21 6 磅 5.2 磅 0 0 The Blues
Hold it, Hold it. What's this?
CUSTOMER
Waiter! Sir! Please, waiter!
MR. FABULOUS
Yes sir. How are your salads?
CUSTOMER
The salads are fine. It's just that, we'd.. we'd like
to move to another table, away from those two gentlemen.
MR. FABULOUS
Why? Have they been disturbing you?
CUSTOMER
No. It's just that.. well frankly, they're offensive.
Smelling. I mean they smell bad.
MR. FABULOUS
Excuse me sir, I'll see if I can locate another table
for you.
CUSTOMER
Thank you.
Jake and Elwoods wine arrives. The wine waiter attempts to serve it.
WAITER
Wrong glass, sir.
Jake moves over to the Customers table.
JAKE
How much for the little girl? The women? How much for
the women?
CUSTOMER
What?
JAKE
Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl,
your daughters. Sell them to me. Sell me your children!
CUSTOMER
Maitre'd'! Maitre'd!
MR. FABULOUS
(to Jake)
Cut it out. Cut it out. The owners are gonna ask me to
call the cops.
JAKE
You wouldn't do that to me would ya man?
ELWOOD
He just got outta Jolliet, he's on parole. You can't
call the cops on him man.
JAKE
We're putting the band back together.
MR. FABULOUS
I said no. Absolutely not.
JAKE
(to customer)
Yo! How much for your wife?
(to Mr. Fabulous)
We're putting the band back together. We need ya man,
we need your horn.
MR. FABULOUS
I can't, I really can't.
ELWOOD
We got everybody but Matt guitar Murphy and Blue Lou
and we're getting them next.
MR. FABULOUS
No way.
JAKE
If you say no, Elwood and I will come here for breakfast,
lunch and dinner every day of the week.
MR. FABULOUS
Okay, okay, I'll play. You got me.
Jake and Elwood leaves. Mr. Fabulous sits down at their table.
CUSTOMER
Sir? Sir. Sir. Sir! Sir?
NAZI DEMONSTRATION
NAZI LEADER
White Men! White women! The swastika is calling you.
The Jew is using the black as muscle against you. And you are left there
helpless. Well, what are you going to do about it, whitey? Just sit there? Of
course not. You, are going to join with us. The members of the American, Socialist,
White peoples party. An organization of decent, law abiding white folk. Just
like you. I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler.
NAZIS
I pledge allegiance to Adolf Hitler.
NAZI LEADER
The immortal leader of our race.
NAZIS
The immortal leader of our race.
NAZI LEADER
And to the order for which he stands.
NAZIS
And to the order for which he stands.
NAZI LEADER
One great cause.
NAZIS
One great cause.
NAZI LEADER
Sacred and invincible.
NAZIS
Sacred and invincible.
Jake and Elwood are caught in a traffic jam caused by the Nazis.
JAKE
(to a patrolling Officer)
Hey, what's going on?
OFFICER
Ah, those bums won there court case so their marching
today.
JAKE
What bums?
OFFICER
The fucking Nazi party.
ELWOOD
Illinios Nazis!
JAKE
I hate Illinios Nazis.
NAZI LEADER
Heil Hitler!
NAZIS
Heil Hitler!
Elwood drives the car up to the bridge and towards the Nazis.
NAZI LEADER
Tenhuit!
Elwood speeds up. The Nazis are forced to jump into the water below.
NAZI LEADER
Perpen Fuhrer?
PERPEN FUHRER
Yes Sir!
NAZI LEADER
Perpen Fuhrer get that cars license plate number.
We're gonna kill that son of a bitch.
SOUL FOOD CAFE
Jake and Elwood enter and sit at the counter.
ARETHA
Help you boys?
ELWOOD
You got any white bread?
ARETHA
Yes.
ELWOOD
I'll have some toasted white bread please.
ARETHA
You want butter or jam on that toast honey?
ELWOOD
No ma'am, dry.
JAKE
You got any fried chicken?
ARETHA
Best damn chicken in the state.
JAKE
Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
ARETHA
You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
JAKE
Four fried chickens and a Coke.
ELWOOD
And some dry white toast please.
ARETHA
You all want anything to drink with that?
ELWOOD
No ma'am.
JAKE
A Coke.
ARETHA
Be up in a minute.
She goes back to the kitchen.
ARETHA
We got two honkies out there dressed like Hacedic
Diamond merchants.
MATT
Say what?
ARETHA
They look like they're from the CIA or something.
MATT
What they want to eat?
ARETHA
The tall one wants white bread, toast, dry with
nothing on it.
MATT
Elwood!
ARETHA
And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and
a Coke.
MATT
And Jake! Shit, the Blues Brothers!
Matt goes out into the cafe.
MATT
Hi Jake.
JAKE
Matt. How you doing?
MATT
Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet.
JAKE
Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked
pepper steak.
MATT
Can't be as bad as the cabbage role at the
Terra-Phelevo Penn.
ELWOOD
Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
MATT
Well they're all pretty bad.
JAKE
Matt, me and Elwood, we're putting the band back
together. We need you and Blue Lou.
MATT
Oh man. Don't talk that way round here. My old lady,
she'll kill me.
ELWOOD
Ma'am you gotta understand that this is a lot bigger
than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.
ARETHA
Matt, what the hell is he talking about?
MATT
Don't get roused sugar.
ARETHA
Don't you "Don't get roused sugar" me! Now
you not going back on the road no more, and you ain't playing no more two bit
sleazy dives. You're living with me now, and you're not gonna go sliding around
with you old white hoodlum friends.
MATT
But babe, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
ARETHA
The Blues Brothers! Shit, they still owe you money,
fool!
JAKE
Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew
that what we asking Matt here to do was a holy thing?
ELWOOD
You see, we're on a mission from God.
ARETHA
Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in
here! Now this is my man and my restaurant and you two are gonna just walk
right out that door, without ya dry white toast, without ya four fried chickens
and without Matt guitar Murphy.
MATT
Now listen to me. I love you, but I'm the man and your
the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life.
ARETHA
You better think about what you're saying. You better
think about the consequences of your actions.
MATT
Oh shut up woman!
Matt undoes his apron and drops it on the floor as he leaves.
MATT
Let's boogie.
Blue Lou looks at them leaving.
ARETHA
(to Blue Lou)
Well, go ahead dammit.
He leaves.
ARETHA
Shit!
CURL UP AND DYE BEAUTY SALON
"Mystery Woman" is reading the instruction booklet for the flame thrower she uses later in the movie.
RAY'S MUSIC EXCHANGE
The band looks around the shop. Elwood finds an electric toaster and pulls a slice of white bread out of his jacket.
RAY
Pardon me, but we do have a strict policy concerning
the handling of the instruments. An employee of Ray's Music Exchange must be
present. Now, may I help you?
JAKE
Ray, it's me. Joliet Jake. I once rented some column
speakers from you for my band, The Blues Brothers.
MURPH
Hey Ray it's me Murph of Murph and the Magic tones.
Remember me? I bought three Fender amps.
RAY
Oh we sell a lot of amplifiers.
MURPH
Not like these they were beautiful. Upholstered with
thick red shag.
RAY
Oh right, right. I remember now. As a matter of fact I
buy 'em all back for $350 a piece.
MURPH
350? I paid $800 each not six months ago.
RAY
Oh well you know depreciation man.
JAKE
Ray we're here to buy stuff. We need pianos, amps,
mikes the works.
A boy attempts to steal a guitar in the background - Ray pulls out a pistol and fires into the wall above the boys head.
RAY
Now go on! Git! It breaks my heart, a boy that young
goin' bad.
Murph notices an electric piano.
MURPH
Tell me a little about this electric piano, Ray.
RAY
Ah you have a good eye my man. That's the best in the
city of Chicago.
JAKE
How much?
RAY
Two thousand bucks and it's yours. You can take it
home with you. As a matter of fact I'll through the black keys in for free.
JAKE
Two thousand for this chunk o'shit? Come on Ray.
MURPH
I mean really Ray, it's used, there's no action left
in this keyboard.
Ray comes out from behind the counter and sits at the piano.
RAY
Excuse me, I don't think there's anything wrong with
the action on this piano.
SONG: "Tailfeather", Ray Charles,
Blues Brothers dancing.
JAKE
OK man, we'll take these axes.
RAY
Naturally, and as usual, I gotta take an I-owe-you.
But I Like Smoking Propane
JAKE
You guys go on inside get yourselves a bite. I've
gotta make a phone call.
MR. FABULOUS
Now Jake, does this phone call concern our first gig?
JAKE
