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ACE VENTURAPET DETECTIVEWritten byJack BernsteinTom ShadyacJim CarreyEXT. STREET - DAYA UPS Man with a big pot belly is walking down the street, whistling and carelessly tossing apackage in the air. We hear the sound of broken glass in the box. He passes a professional woman.UPS MANGood morning,
ACE
(frantic, to himself)
It's not Snowflake?It's not
Snowflake.
Instantly, Ace's body is thrashed around back and forth through the water, the entire length of the
pool.
ACE
(screaming)
IT'S NOT SNOWFLAAAAKE!!! IT'S NOT
SNOWFLAAAA!!!
INT. CAMP'S MANSION - LATER
A line is forming outside the bathroom. Camp and Melissa are seated nearby. He's getting curious.
CAMP
Are you sure he's okay? It's been
an awfu;;y long time.
MELISSA
Who, Tom? Oh, I'm sure he's fine.
Ace suddenly opens the bathroom door and stands there, completely drenched from head to toe,
with his pants in shreds. Everyone stops. They all stare at Ace in amazement.
ACE
(loudly to the entire room)
DO NOT GO IN THERE!
(fanning the air)
Whewww!!
EXT. CAMP'S MANSION - LATER
Ace and Melissa are exiting. Camp stops in the doorway.
CAMP
(still confused)
I'm very sorry, Mr. Ace. I'll
have the pluming checked
immediately.
ACE
Be sure that you do. If I had
been drinking out of that toilet,
I might have been killed!
Ace shakes Camp's hand and notices his ring. He holds on to get a better look. It's a very distinct,
commemorative ring.
Camp wants his hand back but Ace won't let go. Melissa finally drags Ace away.
MELISSA
We'd better go.
Camp looks on and shakes his head.
INT. MELISSA'S CAR - NIGHT
Ace is thinking. Melissa is pissed.
MELISSA
匶'know, I don't even want to
know why your pants are missing!
I don't care what happened! You
could have cost me my job.
ACE
(on his own wavelength)
I was wrong about Camp. He's
breaking the law but he's not our
guy.
MELISSA
It's a sure thing! It's
definitely him! Just get me in
there! Let me work my magic!
Ace takes the stone out of his pocket and studies it intensely.
ACE
This is the key. Right here!
MELISSA
Hiring you was the biggest mistake
I ever made!
ACE
So small! So unnoticeable! Yet
an invaluable piece?of our
twisted little jigsaw puzzle!
Melissa stares at Ace like he's gone crazy. There is a flash of headlights and a car horn. Melissa
swerves back into her own lane. Ace drops the stone somewhere on the seat and begins to search
for it frantically.
ACE
Damn it!
(to Melissa)
Try to keep it on the road.
INT. MELISSA'S LIVING ROOM
Melissa enters, followed by Ace.
MELISSA
So, you found a pebble in
Snowflake's tank. Excuse me while
I call CNN.
ACE
I found it in the filter. And
it's not a pebble. It is a rare,
triangular cut, orange amber.
Ace hands Melissa the stone and quickly goes to one of her bookcases.
MELISSA
What are you talking about?
ACE
Tonight I saw the exact same stone
in Camp's ring.
Ace finds a book on the Dolphin team and flips through it.
MELISSA
I thought you said he didn't do
it.
ACE
N. Camp's clean. His ring
wasn't missing a stone. But
whoever was in that tank had a
ring just like his.
MELISSA
Wait a second. What ring?
Ace hands her the book. It's open to a photo of?
ACE
The 1982 Dolphin AFC Championship
ring.
Melissa holds the stone up to the picture. It's a perfect match.
ACE
I find the ring with the missing
stone, I find Snowflake.
MELISSA
How are you gonna do that?
ACE
Si
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