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ALADDINPEDDLER: Oh I come from a land From a faraway place Where the caravan camels roam Where they cut off your ear /Where its flat and immense If they dont like your face /And the heat is intense Its barbaric, but hey--its home! When the winds at your back And the suns from the west And the sand i
coming in for a landing.)
GENIE: (Still as stewardess) Thank you for choosing Magic
Carpet for all your travel needs. Don't stand
until the rug has come to a complete stop. (As
ALADDIN and ABU get off down the stairway formed by
CARPET) Thank you. Good bye, good bye! Thank you!
Good bye! (Back to normal) Well, now. How about
that, Mr. doubting mustafa?
ALADDIN: Oh, you sure showed me. Now about my three wishes-
GENIE: Dost mine ears deceive me? Three? You are down by
ONE, boy!
ALADDIN: Ah, no--I never actually wished to get out of the
cave. You did that on your own.
(GENIE thinks for a second, then his jaw drops. He turns into a
sheep.)
GENIE: Well, don't I feel just sheepish? All right, you
baaaaad boy, but no more freebies.
ALADDIN: Fair deal. So, three wishes. I want them to be
good. (To GENIE) What would you wish for?
(GENIE is hanging like a hammock between two trees.)
GENIE: Me? No one's ever asked me that before. Well, in
my case, ah, forget it.
ALADDIN: What? No, tell me.
GENIE: Freedom.
ALADDIN: You're a prisoner?
GENIE: It's all part-and-parcel, the whole genie gig.
(Grows gigantic, voice echoes) Phenomenal cosmic
powers! (Shrinks down, cramped in MAGIC LAMP.)
Itty bitty living space
ALADDIN: Genie, that's terrible.
GENIE: (Comes out of the LAMP) But, oh--to be free. Not
have to go "Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do
you need? Poof! What do you need?" To be my own
master, such a thing would be greater than all the
magic and all the treasures in all the world! But
what am I talking about, here? Let's get real
here. It's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and
smell the hummus
ALADDIN: Why not?
GENIE: The only way I get outta this is if my master
wishes me out. So you can guess how often that's
happened.
ALADDIN: I'll do it. I'll set you free.
GENIE: (Head turns into Pinocchio's with a long nose) Uh
huh, right. Whoop!
ALADDIN: No, really, I promise. (He pushes the nose back in
and GENIE's head returns to normal.) After make my
first two wishes, I'll use my third wish to set you
free. (He holds out his hand)
GENIE: Well, here's hopin'. (Shakes ALADDIN's hand.)
O.K. Let's make some magic! (Turns into a
magician.) So how 'bout it. What is it you want
most?
ALADDIN: Well, there's this girl--
GENIE: Eehhh! (Like a buzzer, and GENIE's chest shows a
heart with a cross through it.) Wrong! I can't
make anybody fall in love, remember?
ALADDIN: Oh, but Genie. She's smart and fun and...
GENIE: Pretty?
ALADDIN: Beautiful. She's got these eyes that just...and
this hair, wow...and her smile.
GENIE: (Sitting in a Parisian cafe with ABU and CARPET.)
Ami. C'est l'amour.
ALADDIN: But she's the princess. To even have a chance, I'd
have to be a--hey, can you make me a prince?
GENIE: Let's see here. (Has a "Royal Cookbook".) Uh,
chicken a'la king? (Pulls out a chicken with a
crown on its head) Nope. Alaskan king crab?
(Yanks out his finger, and we see SEBASTIAN the crab from
"The Little Mermaid" clamped on.) Ow, I
hate it when they do that. Caesar's salad? (A
dagger comes out and tries to stab him.) Et tu,
Brute? Ah, to make a prince. (Looks slyly at
ALADDIN.) Now is that an official wish? Say the
words!
ALADDIN: Genie, I wish for you to make me a prince!
GENIE: All right! Woof woof woof woof! (Takes on square
shoulders and looks like Arsenio Hall. Then becomes
a tailor/fashion designer.) First, that fez and
vest combo is much too third century. These
patches--what are we trying to say--beggar? No!
Let's work with me here. (He takes ALADDIN's
measurements, snaps his fingers and ALADDIN is
outfitted in his prince costume.) I like it, muy
macho! Now, still needs something. What does it
say to me? It says mode of transportation. Excuse
me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here! (ABU tries to
cover himself with CARPET, but GENIE zaps him and
he flies over.)
ABU: Uh oh!
GENIE: Here he comes, (ALADDIN and GENIE are on a game
show set, where ALADDIN stands behind a podium with
"AL" on it.) And what better way to make your
grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah, than
riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out,
it spits! (A door bearing the GENIE's head on it
opens, where ABU is transformed into a camel. He
spits out the side of his mouth on cue. But the
GENIE's not sure.) Mmm, not enough. (He snaps his
fingers and ABU turns into a fancy white horse.)
Still not enough. Let's see. What do you need?
(The GENIE snaps his fingers repeatedly, turning
ABU into: a duck, an ostrich, a turtle, and a '57
Cadillac, with license plate "ABU 1." (That one's
a guess, I don't know cars, but judging by the tail
fins, 'nuff said.) Finally, he's returned to
normal.) Yes!! Esalalumbo, shimin dumbo! Whoa!!
(And on the keyword of the spell, Dumbo, ABU turns
into an elephant. CARPET struggles to get out from
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