The guys react with rehearsed offense.
KEVIN
(checks his watch)
Alright...I'm shooting for a nine
o'clock ETA. Beer in hand by five
after.
JIM
You can crash at Stifler's?
KEVIN
It's all good.
(He pulls out some gum)
Breath check.
He hands out a stick of gum to each guy, automatically
skipping Finch, who pulls out a small, hotel-bottle of
Scope. Gargles with it. Spits it into his drink cup.
OZ
(repulsed)
Dude, I wish you wouldn't do that.
KEVIN
You got something up your sleeve for
tonight, Finch?
FINCH
A foolproof plan, my friend. You
shall see.
Oz has tuned into the song in the background -- "Blinded
by the Light" [the original Springsteen version, not the
Manfred Mann remake].
OZ
(sings along)
And little hurly-burly came by in her
curly-wurly, and asked me if I needed
I ri-hide --
KEVIN
How the hell do you know all these
random songs?
OZ
It's early Springsteen, dude, this is
classic. This was before the cheesy
remake.
JIM
This was remade? Into what?
OZ
(chiming in as the chorus hits)
Bli-hinded by the light -- cut loose
like a deuce, another runner in the
night, blinded...
KEVIN
At least now I know what the hell
they're saying.
JIM
So, does my hair look better --
(flips a small lock of hair
onto his forehead)
like this, or...
(flips it back up)
like this?
OZ
Who cares?
JIM
Nadia does, that Czechoslovakian
chick, she might be there tonight.
Now, do you think she'd prefer --
(flips hair down again)
Cool Hip Jim...
(flips it back up)
or Laid Back Jim?
KEVIN
The difference is so phenomenal, I
can't decide.
EXT. DOG DAYS - MAGIC HOUR - CONTINUING
They exit the restaurant.
JIM
What about you? You're the one with
the girlfriend and you're still
stranded on third base.
KEVIN
You know, I've never got that shit.
What exactly constitutes third base?
OZ
(holds up a couple fingers)
Contact, dude.
KEVIN
Then where does a blowjob figure in?
They ponder this for a moment.
OZ
Shortstop. 'Course, you don't make it
to third, and you're out.
JIM
So let's say you get there...what's
uh, third base feel like?
KEVIN
Oh, man, that's kind of sad.
Jim shrugs, embarrassed.
OZ
Feels like warm apple pie, dude.
JIM
Apple pie...
(then)
McDonald's or homemade?
They just look at him. Finch hops on his scooter.
FINCH
Gentlemen, see you at the Bacchanalia.
He MEEPS his horn and buzzes away.
INT. STIFLER'S HOUSE - NIGHT
For a high-school party, it's pretty good. The house is
peppered with ALL TYPES OF HIGH-SCHOOL STUDENTS. MUSIC
blends with the din of excited conversation.
Kevin and Jim are drinking beers. Around them, students
mingle and flirt. CHUCK SHERMAN comes up.
SHERMAN
What's up, fellas?
JIM
Hey Sherman. Scopin' the babes.
SHERMAN
Indeed. Some fine ladies here, boys.
Confidence is high, repeat, confidence
is high.
Sherman is moving to DefCon Two, full
strategic arsenal ready for
deployment.
JIM
You've got something going?
SHERMAN
Did you see that Central chick?
Brunette?
KEVIN/JIM
No.
SHERMAN
She's around. Seems that she's taken
a liking to me. Fellas, it's time
that she experienced -- The
Sherminator.
KEVIN
Yeah, okay Sherman, whatever.
SHERMAN
I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent
back through time...to change the
future for one lucky lady.
KEVIN
Yeah man, right on!
Sherman saunters off into the party.
KEVIN (CONT'D)
(shakes his head)
Hopeless.
Vicky approaches, having a good time, joining the guys,
EXCHANGING GREETINGS. Jim spots NADIA across the room.
She's beautiful, a masterpiece of a woman.
JIM
Oh, shit! There she is. Nadia.
VICKY
You like her? Her sponsor family
lives on my block. Why don't you talk
to her?
JIM
What would I say?
VICKY
Just tell her what's on your mind.
And smile, you've got a good smile.
(then to Kevin)
Come on.
KEVIN
(to Jim)
Gotta go.
JIM
But --
Kevin and Vicky disappear into the crowd -- just as Jim
sees Nadia approaching him. He freaks.
JIM (cont'd)
Kevin, get back here!
But he's gone. And Nadia is now in front of him. With
no other alternative, Jim readies himself, smiling big.
NADIA
(with a really sexy accent)
You are in my English class, no?
Jim smiles.
JIM
(barely)
Yes.
NADIA
I thought so.
Jim's smile grows even bigger, almost stupid. A beat.
NADIA (cont'd)
So you are having fun?
Jim nods, still smiling away. Staring right through her
head.
NADIA (cont'd)
I said, you are having fun?
A little SQUEAK escapes his throat. Jim is on mental
vacation.
NADIA (cont'd)
Me too.
A beat. Jim's expression is now plasticized. Eyes
vacant. A frozen, completely artificial smile. Nadia is
confused.
NADIA (cont'd)
Well...I am going to get another beer.
You want one?
Jim strains to speak, through his smile.
JIM
No...you...go...ahead.
NADIA
Okay.
She walks off. Jim SIGHS, completely relaxing, like a
huge burden is now off of him. He wipes his brow. Then,
realizing --
JIM
Oh, shit. No! Shit!
He pounds his head with his fist.
EXT. STIFLER'S HOUSE - FRONT DOOR - NIGHT
A group of band dorks is on the porch, including
Michelle. Stifler stands in the doorway, staring at them
in disbelief.
MICHELLE
We're here for the party?
STIFLER
What party? There's no party.
MUSIC blares from inside. A drunken HAND reaches through
the door and ruffles Stifler's hair.
PARTY GUY (O.S.)
Stiff-lerrr! Par-tyyy!!
The hand disappears back into the house. A beat.
STIFLER
Try the house down the street.
Stifler slams the door. The dorks wait a moment.
BAND DORK
Ring the bell again.
MICHELLE
上一页 [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] ... 下一页 >>
